Rumination XXVIII – 25 Things Never Said by a Real Texan

It’s been a mighty long time since the RT has written anything about the Good Ol’ Republc of Texas. So here goes.

Twenty-Five things you’ll never hear a Real Texan say:

1. I wish I lived somewhere else.
2. This chili is too hot.
3. I don’t like football.
4. I wish more Yankees would move here.
5. Texas is too big.
6. I don’t like Blue Bell Ice Cream.
7. We need more than one Ranger to stop this riot. 
8. Forget the Alamo.
9. I don’t like Bob Wills.
10. Do you want a soda?
11. Bring me some hot tea.
12. I’m afraid of guns.
13. I don’t like Tex-Mex.
14. Bluebonnets are for sissies. 
15. I don’t like Stevie Ray Vaughn.
16. I think I’ll give my guns to the PTA. 
17. I prefer Milwaukee’s Best to Lone Star. 
18. I don’t like BBQ. 
19. “We’ll bring it to you!” (on a flag)
20. I wish we had less oil in Texas. 
21. I don’t like pecans. 
22. I wish we were more like California or New York. 
23. I have no respect for Tom Landry.
24. Big Tex is just a dumb ol’ statue. 
25. Ol’ Santa Anna was a pretty good guy.

Y’all stay happy out there. 

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